By Matthew Sturges (writer), Luca Rossi and Sean Murphy (artists), Lee Loughridge (colors)

Well, this did it. This sealed the deal for me. I’m officially dropping House of Mystery with issue #5. It’s not that it’s a horrible book – it’s just not for me. Matthew Sturges has tried valiantly to flesh out the character of Fig and he does a good job exploring her past with this issue. In fact, it’s the only redeeming thing I can speak of. However, by the time I reached the end of the book I didn’t care any more about Fig than I did two issues ago.

Nothing about her story is compelling. Sure, she’s had a washed up life with lots of ups and downs, but guess what, Fig? So have most of us! Sorry, but if your silly emo persona is grating enough to make the House of Mystery want to literally kill itself, then there’s really no reason for me to be reading this book. Who wants to read a book about characters they can’t stand?

I really wanted to love this book. I gave it five chances to win me over, but it’s just not creepy enough, and frankly, it’s not going anywhere to boot. The only subplot that had me going was with that girl who was banished from the House into the wastelands of who knows where. Adding to my frustration is the fact that we don’t even get any of her story in this issue! When we have (in the past) it’s just a few spattered pages here and there. That’s not enough to keep me coming back on a monthly basis. House of Mystery should be teeming with suspense and horror. It should pay homage to its bronze age roots. Instead, it’s just a House of Boredom. This is one of those rare cases where being mediocre is worse than being bad.

Someone let me know when it’s safe to come home. (Grade: C-)

– J. Montes