By Mark Waid (writer), Zeb Wells (writer), Barry Kitson (art), Mark Farmer (art), Todd Nauck (art)

The week’s hottest title might just be the worst comic you pick up in 2009.  To Marvel: Props to you on capitalizing on the upcoming innaguration event, and in convincing people to line up for this “hot” garbage. First and foremost, the cover is misleading to potential new readers. There are two stories in the issue. The first one, an easily forgettable Spider-Man story where there really is no story, but more of a pathetic character study of Peter Parker told by Betty Brant. The second, a 5-page story that features Spidey and someone that looks nothing like our new President.

The first story is  a complete waste of time, offering nothing exciting nor anything important. It’s really disappointing, Waid. Your portrayal of Peter Parker as the geeky, likable, loyal friend, does not offer anything compelling to the character. Instead, you give us a douchebag Peter Parker that talks as if he’s got some messed up hormonal condition, where he has never sounded so soft up until this issue. Here are some of the lines that come out of the Peter Parker that some people thought you would like to read: ” You look redonkulous. And not the good kind of redonkulous.” “Tell your friend, night-night.” “No one hates you, sweetie.” WTF?! And by the way, take the pink out of the caption box, and you won’t read a difference from Parker’s  voice to Betty Brant’s.

As for the Barack tale, Zeb Wells and Todd Nauck give you nothing but 5 pages of Spider-Man standing next to some black guy. Biggest highlight in the story? You wondering if Spidey and the awkward terrorist fist jab between him and the President is racist. Ditch this piece of shit. I’m sorry if you had to call x number of comic stores for this book, and ask your hot female friend who lives 18 miles away, to pick it up for you. But if you really need to see what all the hype is about, save yourself the time and money, and find it somewhere online. And for the record, I generally don’t like to encourage piracy, considering it forces the publishers to raise the price on our books. However, I’m making an exception for this one. Besides, Marvel already got what they wanted with this book.

Grade: F

-Raymond Hilario