By: Justin Gray & Jimmy Palmiotti (story), Cat Staggs (pencils), Tom Derenick (inks), Jason Wright (colors)
The Story: Doll Man teaches Phantom Lady that size really doesn’t matter—sometimes.
The Review: Anyone who’s followed this blog long enough knows I have developed certain prejudices—let’s not call them grudges—against certain writers and artists. Some of them may be more deserved than others, but generally, I feel I make a good case for my hang-ups. At times, though, I find it hard to reconcile my dislike for the Bedards and Levitzes of the world while still following along with the Grays and Palmiottis.
If I had to explain myself, I’d say one thing Gray-Palmiotti have over the creators I’ve dismissed is a source of ideas that still seems as if it has some juice left. I’m not so sure that applies to the series at hand, however. Without the superpowers, the story we have basically reduces down to your usual personal vendetta against the evil collective.
The Benders are particularly uninteresting foes as they basically fall in line with the mafia type, the kind where every fella has nicknames like “Warlock” or “Old Benny,” with no original motivations whatsoever. They continue their criminal activity out of sheer inertia, it seems. Cyrus doesn’t even bother to rationalize any of his actions. Warlock asks, quite reasonably, why his boss won’t just bump off Jen right off. “All she wants to do is kill you. I just don’t get it, what’s the point?”
“That’s what makes it exciting,” Cyrus snaps back. “That’s the point.”
Perhaps Gray-Palmiotti would have more time to develop the antagonists if they didn’t waste so much of it with awkward exposition about the two leads’ abilities. At times, they don’t even lay out the appropriate context first. In response to Jen exclaiming she thought he was dead, Dane replies, “Not dead. I can’t explain the physics, but at this size I’m stronger and able to do some amazing things.” You’ll also be highly annoyed when Dane essentially repeats every single point made about Phantom Lady’s powers just last issue. Entirely unnecessary and redundant.
And yet I still find myself surprisingly fond of Jen and Dane. Maybe this just comes from my own personal experiences, but I recognize the specific kind of tension between them. Jen takes advantage of Dane horribly—she knows it, they both know it—and while Dane hates her emasculation of him, he also knows that it gives her a harmless pleasure, and he loves her, so he lets it go. You also know for all that, Jen depends on him completely. Together, they make a very entertaining team, in a buddy-idiot kind of way. Evacuating Dane’s man-cave, Jen grabs an appliance off a counter. “You have to tell me what to take. I’m lost here. What does this do?”
“It’s a hand mixer. I use it to make cupcakes.” I don’t know what I like more about that joke: the timing of Dane’s dry response or the implication that Jen has no cooking experience at all.
Given the underwhelming quality of the script, Staggs art is nearly wasted on this title. With her deft, slick art, why she should get relegated to a mini is beyond me. The way she handles the all that’s asked of her on this series, it seems like she can do any kind of story. The urban drama has more tension than Gray-Palmiotti’s script even demands, the portrayal of Phantom Lady’s shadow powers is suitably cool and superheroic, and Doll Man’s techie gear looks modern enough to make him appear impressive, despite his size.
Conclusion: A thoroughly average issue, but with great art and some leads more charming than they have any right to be.
Grade: B-
– Minhquan Nguyen
Some Musings: – I know it’s “Funerella” as in “Funeral + Cinderella,” but when I hear the name, I just think, “Fun-erella.” Also, isn’t she a remnant of a prison gang that appeared in Gray-Palmiotti’s entirely forgettable Freedom Fighters? Figures that it’s her I remember.
– For a reporter, Jen never asks The Question. Having put her Phantom Lady outfit, she asks Dane, “…how [do] you know my body well enough to custom-tailor it?” Not, “How and why did you design this clearly vigilante-purposed costume if the need for it didn’t pop up until I got shot?”